Sorry for the no post recently... the whole family has been very poorly, and we have spent the last week sleeping! So here now is my newest post! Hope you enjoy!!
I can’t actually believe I’m telling you all about this a whole year later! It seems to still amaze me how I now have a 4 month old baby girl and I’m not pregnant anymore! Time sure does fly... however this pregnancy for me was not what I was expecting.
I was dead certain I wanted children and I couldn’t wait to be a mum. Until the day this all happened and I wondered at times what the hell I had done. Now people might find that extreme but until you have experienced something called “Hyperemesis” you really can’t comment.
We had been happily married for just over 4 months before we found out we were expecting and we could not have been happier, until my life got turned upside down for the next 9 months of my life. So for all mums to be or mums now I wanted to tell of my experience dealing with “Hyperemesis” and how i thought there was no light at the tunnel. (There is but it’s a bloody long wait!) And also how having another baby is going to be a very very hard choice for me!!
This time last year I had found out I was pregnant and the excitement I had was unbelievable. I wanted to keep the hush hush until I had my 12 weeks scan and just keep it between family! However doing that at work was pretty tough but I managed for a few weeks until I became extremely unwell.
I somehow reached 6 weeks of being pregnant and was fine and then that was it, I was throwing up galore, which on some level was to be expected and morning sickness isn't just morning I understood that. Days passed and the sickness got worse and worse and I kind of wished for the 12 week mark cause that's when everyone told me your feel so much better. Oh how everyone was wrong, after days of being sick so much everything I drank or ate came back up, it got to the point I was bed ridden, no food was being consumed and the small amount of drink was not staying down. By the time I reached 12 weeks I had been hospitalised twice due to being so dehydrated. But it didn't stop there for me.
In the end I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis, and quite a bad case they had seen.
Now let me fill you in a little bit about hyperemesis -
It’s formal name is Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), this is a condition at the extreme end of the pregnancy sickness spectrum. And it’s affects 1% of women (I seem to be that 1%, Thanks).
So here’s what they tell you to do...
- Rest
- Avoid triggers of nausea
- Avoid dehydration
- Cope emotionally
Nothing mentally or physically will ever prepare you for this, all the meds in the world, people around you, drinks, food, nothing.
For anyone who didn't know me wouldn't have known I was pregnant, I was around 22 weeks, id lost a stone in weight due to this illness and very poorly and yes it wasn't just cause I was "pregnant"I was ill. Ill to the point I closed myself away and I did not and could not move. On one of the days my mum called my husband cause all I was doing was shaking and not moving, he rushed me over the A&E for them to save me with a drip. Which yes the drips were amazing, but that was an all high for about 8-12 hours, as soon as I was off of the drip I went back down hill. There was no getting away from it.
By the time I returned to work, I still wasn't 100% but I was gradually getting better. The morning sickness never went, some days were better than others, the sickness tablets were still being taken, although there was always a point in the back of my mind that I was worried but I really needed something to take some of the sickness away. To be fair it got to the point I wanted to be 40 weeks pregnant, in labour and ready to go and not a lot of people would say that!
You do get quite low, cause you sit there thinking why me? out of all the people that are pregnant why am I in that small percentage? That 1% of people! People around you having or have children and there pregnancies went amazing they had no sickness or just had the small amount. All I kept thinking was why? Mentally I guess I wasn't prepared for anything other than a bit of morning sickness and then feeling better, but I'm afraid that didn't happen. However I'm not sure if you can be mentally prepared for pregnancy but you do try!
So to the day Amelia was born it stuck with me and oh how I was glad she was 9 days early, 9 less days of feeling sick.
My Hyperemesis didn't leave me until Amelia was here, after I gave birth to her I was sick and 2 hours later I was sick twice again. I kinda feel like that was it finally the end, 8 months of feeling sick, it was finally over.
I do sit and question would I do it again cause apart from my husband my little girl is the best thing that’s happened to me. And I love her so much I want to feel this love with another baby, but can I mentally put myself through that? Honestly right now I don’t no.
After going through a really tough time and trying to explain to people what Hypermeisis is and how its just not just morning sickness cause trust me I wish it was! How its really tough mentally and physically to deal with. The 9 months was finally over.
I decided to write this because I just wanted to tell everyone about my experience with dealing with the illness and how your not alone when it comes to having Hyperemesis cause there are other people out there, but its not madly talked about. It's totally fine to speak out about it weather people call it "just morning sickness" or just "being pregnant". I finally after people saying these thing to me, did just tell them, say no, no its not cause I'm just pregnant, what I have is an illness, and yes I'm ill. But so what? get over it? Cause if u wanna be were I am right now go for it, have Hyperemesis and then tell me your be fine because 9 times out of 10 they would defiantly take back every single word they said.
So no my experience with pregnancy hasn’t been great, but I would never change it for the world, cause I have my little mini me and she’s fab! My little star!!
If your suffering and need some help speak out, talk to someone, get support around you cause its hard and I no how your feeling. I feel so much for you!
Emily xx
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